6th grade Thematic Essay Revision Sheet

Revising Your ELO 4 Thematic Essay

Directions: Review the model paragraphs below and check to make sure the essay has the parts included. Also, check for any misspellings or small errors the writer might have missed.

I. Sample introduction paragraph:

Does it take only a cape or a special power to become a hero? In Where the Mountain Meets the Moon, Grace Lin discusses the topic of heroism in the novel. She depicts the topic through the character Minli who experiences certain events that turn her into a true hero when she is challenged with the most difficult obstacles. Grace Lin wants the reader to learn that heroes are not born they are made. Minli transformed into a hero by the way she thought, acted and looked in the novel. This is an important lesson because it teaches the reader that you can become your own hero by making the kind of choices that not only benefit you but benefit others as well.

Help yourself or your classmate revise their essay by answering the questions below.

ü  What kind of hook does the writer use?________________________________________________________________

ü  What is the writer’s topic? ______________________________________________________________________________

ü  What does the writer use to explain the topic—with characters or events from the story? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  What does Gin Lin want the reader to learn? _________________________________________________________

ü  Why is the lesson important?___________________________________________________________________________

II. Sample body paragraphs:

At the beginning of the novel, Minli is different from the people in her village. She has the potential to be a true hero and change her fate. The author states, “Minli was not brown and dull like the rest of the village. She had glossy black hair with pink cheeks, shinning eyes always ready for adventure,” (Lin, 2). This quote suggests that Minli does not fit in with the rest of her village, in addition she is ready for any kind of adventure thrown her way. Furthermore, Minli aspires for more from life. “What kept Minli from becoming dull and brown like the rest of the village were stories her father told her, (Lin, 3). This quote explains that Ba’s stories keep Minli from falling into the despair of the rest of her village. These quotes relate to my topic of heroism because we begin to see Minli as a special character in the novel.

ü  Describe the main idea of each body paragraph:

Body 1 explains that____________________________________________________________________________

Body 2 explains that____________________________________________________________________________

ü  Does the textual evidence support the topic of the essay? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  Does the writer use correct parenthetical citations (Lin, pg#)? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  Does the writer explain the quotation and why it is important to your topic?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

III. Sample conclusion paragraph:

As previously mentioned, Minli makes decisions like a hero. She isn’t afraid to be unlike the people in her village, and she helps all people in need like a Chinese Robin Hood. Grace Lin wants the reader to learn that Minli has transformed herself into an inspirational hero. This lesson exemplifies the actions one must take in order to change the world for the better. Grace Lin teaches the reader that anyone can be a hero in their own community. This lesson was successful because it taught me that maybe I shouldn’t judge those who are weaker than me, but instead consider myself someone who can lead my family in friend to fortune.

ü  How do you summarize the topic sentences of your two body paragraphs?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  How does the writer restate his/her (synonyms, paraphrasing or generalizing the topic)?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  How does the writer explain why or why not Grace Lin was successful in teaching this lesson?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Peer Review: Extra Credit:

1.     What does the writer do well in the essay? _________________________________________________________

2. What is one question you had about the essay?_______________________________________________________