6th grade ELO 5 Revising Worksheet

6^th grade -Revising Your ELO 5 Poetic Essay

Directions: Review the model paragraphs below and check to make sure the essay has the parts included. Also, check for any misspellings or small errors the writer might have missed.

I.               Sample introduction paragraph:

Attention grown-ups! Take a moment to imagine your former childhood friend when you were five years old. Do you know if that person has changed as an adult? Or are they still that same smelly, troublesome kid? In the poem, “Dear Danny Ledbetter” by Mignon Mabry discusses how people from your childhood never change in your memory. The poet is able to convey that lack of change through the use of simile and metaphor.

Help yourself or your classmate revise their essay by answering the questions below.

ü  What kind of hook does the writer use?________________________________________________________________

ü  What is the writer’s thesis? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  What poetic devices does the writer use to explain the thesis? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  What is the change in the poem?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

II.             Sample body paragraphs:

Another example of a poetic message in the poem is that the final lines of the poem suggest that the poet herself has not changed as well. In the final lines of the poem she states, “And do you cry in deep hard pillows sibs when/ the pound truck picks up/ the stray you’ve been hiding?/ And am I still your girl?” (Mabry). These lines explain closeness between the poet and Danny Ledbetter because they suggest that she has seen him cry or “sob” , and also that she was once his “girl.” Through the use of the poetic device of imagery the poet enhances their closeness with vivid images of Danny crying into his pillow. Moreover, this line affirms the main idea that both the memory of the poet’s childhood friend but also the poet herself has not completely changed. She is still and will forever be his “girl” in this childhood memory poem.

ü  Describe the poetic device of each body paragraph:

Body 1 poetic device explains that

____________________________________________________________________________

Body 2 poetic device explains that

____________________________________________________________________________

ü  Does the textual evidence support the thesis of the essay? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  Does the writer use correct parenthetical citations (Poet’s last name)? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  Does the writer explain the quotation and why it is important to your thesis?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

III. Sample conclusion paragraph:

The poetic messages in this poem revolve around the main idea that memories do not change no matter how much time passes. Through the use of imagery and simile the poet enhanced a childhood memory of Danny Ledbetter who would never change in the poet’s mind and furthermore would never change the poet. The poet hoped the reader would learn that in many ways people will never change who they are or most importantly what they mean to you in your life. You cannot run away from your past because memories are strong and help you define who you are. However, it is important to know that you can always change who you are as long as you never forget the people like Danny Ledbetter who knew you.

ü  How do you summarize the topic sentences of your two body paragraphs?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  How does the writer restate his/her (synonyms, or paraphrasing) the thesis?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ü  How does the writer explain the message the poet wanted to convey?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Peer Review:

1.     What does the writer do well in the essay? _________________________________________________________

2. What is one question you had about the essay?_______________________________________________________